The Pangs Of Conscience
Authored By: Bradley Chapline
Edited By: Michele Chapline
Excerpts taken from the writings of Martina E. Faulkner
>(MSW) Master Of Social Work
March 2024
Authored By: Bradley Chapline
Edited By: Michele Chapline
Excerpts taken from the writings of Martina E. Faulkner
>(MSW) Master Of Social Work
March 2024
“A person can only be upbraided so many times before a reprisal is delivered."
>B. Chapline<
Apr 2024
>B. Chapline<
Apr 2024
In the words of Martina E. Faulkner, "You can't cast a negative net and expect to catch anything positive."
I've always known, in a civilized society, it's never alright to wish harm on another person. However, this has never stopped me, even though karma, at some point, has seemingly brought negative energy back into my life. This seemingly perpetual chaos has often brought me to think that maybe my past actions have been a fact of life that, for every harmful wish, which includes acts of physical retaliation, sooner or later, I would reap what I have sown.
Therapists will all too often say, "If you don't want someone wishing harm on you, don't wish it on others. But, its not that simple. Because, with me, in most cases, throughout my life, I have not started conflicts.
It is true of me to say that I have employed the three most dysfunctional attributes of my mind to use as an excuse to base revenge against my enemies. Those are justifications, generalizations and rationalizations. While chastised by mainstream society, those elements have been the catalyst to most of my successes against my enemies.
In the 1950's - 1960's, I grew up in a small town that was predominantly christian conservative. Today, a large portion of them would be called the "radical right". While my biological father remained non-committed to Christianity, my mother had lumped herself in the group of those who talked a lot about how devout and religious they were, but, their actions surely didn't measure up to the words. In the years to come my older brother would follow in his mother's footsteps. It is fair to say I was surrounded by pharisaical forces with no real way out.
Although I was much too young to raise myself, much less defend myself, I resorted to making "wishes of harm" against family members. I put a great deal of planning and effort into those wishes. These internal acts became very satisfying to me. Some wishes were answered, while most were not. The wishes that were answered, if even to a very light degree, were a great time of internal celebration. Anyway, as my list of enemies abroad in the community grew, I continued my practice of making diabolical wishes against those I had an aversion to. It made no difference when I learned how to fight. Even when I was the victor of a physical confrontation, I still added an iniquitous wish against my enemy.
My years as a U.S. Marine came to be the embodiment of my talents in retaliating and wishes of harm towards my so-called brothers of green. These years of experience definitely brought me to be well prepared for the seemingly sempiternal war that I would face in civilian life.
Beginning with a transient employment history, then, a shortened stretch in college, my next career was as a class three law enforcement officer. Doing battle daily with not only their internal corruption, I had both legal and welfare authorities from out-of- state laying the groundwork to both garnish my wages and effectuate my arrest for allegedly engaging in the non-support of family. Meanwhile, these unendurable tensions had effectively crumbled my second marriage.
In the coming years, there would be a third wife. The good news was, the second and third wife were the same person. All past legal troubles had been solved and/or satisfied, final. My first wife was now in prison for fraud, and her evil parents had finally met their end of life.
In my early fifties, I finally began to taste the flavor of freedom.
While my third marriage had a fair share of disputations, the overriding factor is, we have made a great team, all together, for well over forty years. She had always been instrumental in bringing forth both logical and effective legal defenses on my behalf when ructions surfaced during my tenure as either a prison guard, a state peace officer, or finally, an academy instructor.
Now retired in good standing since 2008, and most likely in the twilight of my life, she has brought me down many notches from that person who would once retaliate by not only physical force, but, as well, by deep-seeded wishes of either hurt and or harm against another.
I would have never turned out to be anywhere near the respectable man I am today without my wife. But, while I do still have outbursts of anger, I am just purely venting. My wife still tempers each occurrence when it surfaces to ensure it remains just my form of private expression.
In the end, I really do like who I am today, even with my flaws. However, while I still will fight when wronged, I will now act by the rules of law and decency.
I've always known, in a civilized society, it's never alright to wish harm on another person. However, this has never stopped me, even though karma, at some point, has seemingly brought negative energy back into my life. This seemingly perpetual chaos has often brought me to think that maybe my past actions have been a fact of life that, for every harmful wish, which includes acts of physical retaliation, sooner or later, I would reap what I have sown.
Therapists will all too often say, "If you don't want someone wishing harm on you, don't wish it on others. But, its not that simple. Because, with me, in most cases, throughout my life, I have not started conflicts.
It is true of me to say that I have employed the three most dysfunctional attributes of my mind to use as an excuse to base revenge against my enemies. Those are justifications, generalizations and rationalizations. While chastised by mainstream society, those elements have been the catalyst to most of my successes against my enemies.
In the 1950's - 1960's, I grew up in a small town that was predominantly christian conservative. Today, a large portion of them would be called the "radical right". While my biological father remained non-committed to Christianity, my mother had lumped herself in the group of those who talked a lot about how devout and religious they were, but, their actions surely didn't measure up to the words. In the years to come my older brother would follow in his mother's footsteps. It is fair to say I was surrounded by pharisaical forces with no real way out.
Although I was much too young to raise myself, much less defend myself, I resorted to making "wishes of harm" against family members. I put a great deal of planning and effort into those wishes. These internal acts became very satisfying to me. Some wishes were answered, while most were not. The wishes that were answered, if even to a very light degree, were a great time of internal celebration. Anyway, as my list of enemies abroad in the community grew, I continued my practice of making diabolical wishes against those I had an aversion to. It made no difference when I learned how to fight. Even when I was the victor of a physical confrontation, I still added an iniquitous wish against my enemy.
My years as a U.S. Marine came to be the embodiment of my talents in retaliating and wishes of harm towards my so-called brothers of green. These years of experience definitely brought me to be well prepared for the seemingly sempiternal war that I would face in civilian life.
Beginning with a transient employment history, then, a shortened stretch in college, my next career was as a class three law enforcement officer. Doing battle daily with not only their internal corruption, I had both legal and welfare authorities from out-of- state laying the groundwork to both garnish my wages and effectuate my arrest for allegedly engaging in the non-support of family. Meanwhile, these unendurable tensions had effectively crumbled my second marriage.
In the coming years, there would be a third wife. The good news was, the second and third wife were the same person. All past legal troubles had been solved and/or satisfied, final. My first wife was now in prison for fraud, and her evil parents had finally met their end of life.
In my early fifties, I finally began to taste the flavor of freedom.
While my third marriage had a fair share of disputations, the overriding factor is, we have made a great team, all together, for well over forty years. She had always been instrumental in bringing forth both logical and effective legal defenses on my behalf when ructions surfaced during my tenure as either a prison guard, a state peace officer, or finally, an academy instructor.
Now retired in good standing since 2008, and most likely in the twilight of my life, she has brought me down many notches from that person who would once retaliate by not only physical force, but, as well, by deep-seeded wishes of either hurt and or harm against another.
I would have never turned out to be anywhere near the respectable man I am today without my wife. But, while I do still have outbursts of anger, I am just purely venting. My wife still tempers each occurrence when it surfaces to ensure it remains just my form of private expression.
In the end, I really do like who I am today, even with my flaws. However, while I still will fight when wronged, I will now act by the rules of law and decency.
Recommended Reading By Chronological Order
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